why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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