does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
