Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
