I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
