I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
