it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize