based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
