I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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