are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
