so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
