there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
