just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
