shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
this hospital has no fireball
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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