i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
