Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
