I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
