my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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