Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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