Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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