my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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