Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
