next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize