Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
