grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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