You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
