i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
