can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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