just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
