This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
