I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
