I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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