i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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