Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
