The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
