Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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