it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
