pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
