you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
