ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
