Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize