i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
