I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
