If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
