I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize