so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
