You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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