You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
