I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
