TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
