That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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