We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
