You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i believe in u and ur pee
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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