I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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