It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
