you guys were way drunker than both of me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
