Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
