Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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