i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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