New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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