Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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