Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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